Dealing with sickle cell can be an extremely lonely and isolating experience. Sickle cell is a condition that affects you from the inside out so the the effects aren’t really shown and can’t be seen. Sickle cell creates an extremely high tolerance to pain so the more crises you go through the higher your tolerance gets, but make no mistake it is still extremely painful.
Being believed that I was truly in crisis became harder as my pain threshold grew. I never fit what their picture of pain looked like. The more crises I had the less I cried and worked myself into a state. I believe that affected how everyone around me treated me, from doctors and nurses to family and friends. The worse the hospital cycle became the more alone I felt.
During the worst of it, the only person I could depend on was my mum. I would have to walk to the shops with cannulas hanging out of my hands, fingers or feet risking infection to get my water when I wasn’t able to wait for my mum to come after work. She would come every evening without fail, I honestly don’t know if I would of got through it without her.
I’ve noticed sickle cell patients have a very special bond with their mothers. I think at the time I was dealing with so much I didn’t really think about or acknowledge it but when I sit back and reflect it really hurts, it makes me really sad. It taught me that even in the worst of times all you have is yourself. It’s so so cliche but it made me stronger, it made me the person I am today, I also realised that even at my worst I can still push to a next level even in the most unbearable pain.
Sometimes the people you think are the “strongest” are hurting the most…
My #sicklecellfamily I continue to pray for your health, happiness, hope and strength.