When you go into sickle cell crisis it can mean a lot of trips to the hospital. I was constantly going into crisis from the ages of about 17-24. It meant I spent a lot and sometimes long periods of time there. To manage my crisis I was given morphine, codeine diclofenic, paracetamol, fluids and sometimes antibiotics and top up transfusion. As this list shows that is a lot of medication, but that is what was needed to try and manage the unbearable pain. I was in hospital, admitted or in A&E almost weekly.
As my sickle cell was destroying my body on the inside the medication was destroying my body on the outside. I believe my appearance changed, I just didn’t look like myself anymore, I didn’t recognise myself. Sickle cell took a toll on me in every way you can possibly imagine, it destroyed me from the inside out. I wanted to give up so badly, I was just so sick of fighting I constantly questioned what it was for? But somehow God kept me here.
It was like fighting in the darkest deep pit, I couldn’t see anything but things were constantly being thrown at me. I was around 20/21 at this time but I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. How long was I suppose to keep going? How many days, weeks, months, years? I was just so tired, I was exhausted I just wanted it to be over. I wanted it to stop.
I honestly can’t tell you how I’m still here and how I keep fighting, but I know if it wasn’t for God I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be writing this, I wouldn’t be trying to raise awareness about this dreadful illness and as hard as it can be I feel it’s my duty and my purpose.
To my #sicklecellfamily we go through hell we fight for our life every day and that is why we are warriors and soldiers because sickle cell is a war! And to any of you who are really going through it, never forget or dismiss your strength because God’s got you.
You can find Aliya on Instagram here: @stylemealiya