Everyday I Get Stronger
Well here I am, 3 months exactly after my second hip revised operation and what can I say?
It has been an eye opener, a very difficult journey that has helped me to truly reflect on myself, my life and my future. For all of those individuals who believed in God once and have decided that he is not real because he allows bad things to happen in the world and causes us to go through all this pain and trauma, I have to say he is real.
I am no different than another human being; I have had my doubts, I have questioned my faith, I have been the most neglectful believer ever at times. However, today I can truly say if I did not believe in God I would have just given up and stopped living. My strength has not come from myself that is for sure.
I was lying on a hospital bed three months ago in disbelief at what I had just gone through; spending three and half weeks in hospital instead of 3-4 days. Going home was to be another experience of loneliness and frustration. Unable to take even a few steps without using a Zimmer frame and experiencing uncomfortable post-operative pain. Being dependent on my husband for my everything and watching his frustration as he tried to juggle looking after me with working.
It was so difficult those first few months of slow recovery and I realised how we take so much for granted in life. It made me feel that I needed to be more grateful for the things that I have, like the ability to walk and the hands that assist me with all that I do every day.
We tend to take all these things for granted until we are faced with experiencing the loss of these great abilities that help us with living an easier life.
I also felt so grateful for the wonderful family and friends that I have. For the husband that has always loved and looked after me for the past twenty-three years and has never given up on us even when things have got really difficult. For the daughter who took over being the woman of the house, watching her with pride and gratitude and thanking God for being blessed to have grown such a beautiful young woman who had acquired the same determination, fight and strength as her mother. And last but not least, for the wonderful strong woman who gave birth to me and has stood beside me in such an incredible way. My amazing mother the strongest lady that I have ever known, my angel, my everything.
I also reflected on the things I had lost in my life, my father, who was always and will always be my hero, my brother and sister who both passed away in their youth and my sweet nephew who never had a chance to live his life longer than ten years.
There was other great things that I had lost in my life that I wish I could speak about but they are difficult parts of my personal life that are best left as memories of the past that have been dealt with.
I had come through another difficult experience and again I was going to use this to help me to grow.
You can find Laurel on Instagram @laurelbrumant
‘Everyday I Get Stronger‘ is part of the Real Lives blog series, sharing the real stories of people living with sickle cell. Read more here: www.sicklecellsociety.org/category/real-lives-blog/
Laurel is raising money to support our work this World Sickle Cell Day. Find out more and show your support here: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/laurel-brumant-palmer/