My Reflection on Failed Hip Replacement Operation [Part 1]

My Reflection on Failed Hip Replacement Operation [Part 1]

I firstly must say that I thank almighty God for my life, the struggles are tough, the journey is sometimes testing but life is still great.

I decided to agree to this operation after a very long period of time. I constantly had a reason why it was not the right time to have it. I put the operation off for at least ten to fifteen years and In that time I can say that I experienced different levels of chronic pain. I was so adamant that I would not have this operation until I could bear the pain no longer and I reached an age where if things went wrong I could accept it. My quality of life began to change rapidly as my Avascular Necrosis began to have a significant effect on my life.

Firstly I had to start walking with a stick which I was not happy about, but the impact the pain was having on my everyday living was horrendous. I loved walking to the local park regularly which I could not do any more. Every step that I took was so painful and my mood was also being effected by pain. Work did not experience my mood but my family did. Especially my wonderful mother who I was staying with in the last 6 months prior to my surgery. My husband and daughter also experienced my low moods, I felt angry constantly, because I was coming in from work and having to stand up and cook a meal. Why, because I felt that it was expected of me. Everything just seemed to be too difficult and to be honest I felt like people around me just did not understand what I was actually going through.

God became my strength, every time I struggled I asked him to see me through and to help me to be stronger. It was tough, it was painful and it was challenging. Fear is not a good thing but all of us experience it at some time in our life. I had Sickle Cell Disease and I had experienced far worse than having hip replacement surgery. I was frightened before this operation, deep down inside I felt that something could go wrong and for some strange reason I felt that it was going to go wrong for me. My mother continually encouraged me to put my faith in God, telling me that he was in control. I went into positivity mode, finished all my work that needed to be done before I left my place of employment and started to organize myself so that thigs were in place for me after the surgery.

I will never forget that amazing feeling I had when I came out of surgery, the pain caused by avascular Necrosis had disappeared instantly like magic. The post-operative pain was bad but it was well controlled with pain killers. I was like an excited little kid when the Physiotherapist came and did some post-operative exercises with me. I didn’t find the exercises difficult and put this down to my attending Hydrotherapy every Friday to strengthen my muscles in my legs. When they came to me with the Zimmer frame I could not believe how mobile I was, It was the best feeling ever. The following day when they came to me with crutches I took to them like a duck to water. ‘You will be home in a few days’, they said as they were so happy with my strength and walking ability.

I was concerned that I had not had an x-ray and I constantly kept asking when a x-ray would be done. I’m not sure why I kept asking this as I felt that everything had gone well.

I will never forget how disappointed, horrified and upset I felt when the team of Orthopedic doctors walked into my side room 7 days after my surgery. They informed me of my hip replacement operation being unsuccessful. It was like a dark cloud hit me in my chest and I think I was in shock. I didn’t know how to react because I didn’t believe what I was hearing. I was not angry, I think I was so shocked that there was no room to be angry.

I can remember asking so much questions but not really taking in the answers, I needed to talk to my husband, my mum and my daughter. I wanted to cry and share this awful news with my loved ones. My husband sounded as devastated as me when I spoke to him on the phone and I could feel and hear the shock in his voice. It actually felt as if someone had died.

Laurel

You can find Laurel on Instagram here: @laurelbrumant

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